My Heart is Full

I don't know where to start today. Anonymity is hard to keep when one's experience has become fairly well known. And I don't think anonymity is a good servant all the time. So my recent experiences, as I share about them, may give away my identity. That's okay with me.

Like I said, I don't know where to start. My heart is full of praise and thanksgiving. Maybe that's enough to say for today. My soul magnifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Saviour, for he who is mighty has done great things for me and holy is his name.

I learned yesterday that a lump in my breast is just a cyst. "Nothing to worry about" were the words of the ultrasound technician. This is great news, but it is not the reason I am rejoicing. As I lay on the examination table, my heart was not pounding, I was not sweating or shaking. Hearing the good news did not fill me with a huge sense of relief. It was what it was. The Lord had so comforted me, loved on me, and used the preceding time of the unknown to prepare me, strengthen me, and fill me with trust in him and desire for his will to be done through me that I was ready to praise him for having cancer.

That is amazing to me. That is peace that passes my understanding, and it is real. I can honestly say that I never had to work at not being afraid. I just wasn't. The hardest part was seeing my family anxious and hurting, but I was the recipient of a joy and peace that was not my own. What a gift. What an amazing, wonderful God! It is hard to express my gratitude with my own words. I am thankful the Spirit intercedes for me in these times.

I do not know the full ramifications of this month long experience in my world, but I know that I am not the same.

My deep desire is for you to know joy and peace in believing in Jesus Christ, that he will make you glad with the joy of his presence. May you trust in the Lord, and through his steadfast, unfailing love, remain unmoved. You belong to him and he is so very good.