More please.

I was at a retreat last week - a silent retreat. I was there to help my sister cook for the women attending, but I was also able to be part of the silence and take part in the morning and evening prayers and the afternoon sessions. One of the questions we were asked to answer was, "What do you long for?"
My two part answer was, "Laughter, and more of God's presence."

I know that God is fully with me, but what I was expressing was that I want to want Him more, and be more and more aware of Him. That night as we engaged in responsive readings and sang refrains of praise, my eyes were drawn to an icon that was set on a shelf.

As I gazed at it, I was undone.

I was undone by the tender love between Mother and Child. I saw the giving and receiving of love in their form and face. I saw desire and being desired in their posture and and expression. Then I made the connection... and wept.

I thought back to another mother and child - a grandmother this time, holding her infant grandson, drinking in the precious sight and smell and warmth and weight of him. And wanting... wanting so much more of him. Wanting with all her being for the breath of life to fill his body so that days and weeks, years and decades could also be filled with experiencing him.

That's how I want to want Jesus - basking in Him for who He is to me right now, but wanting Him to increasingly be so much more to me. I want His love, His character, His Being to be even sweeter to me as the day progresses and the tomorrows come. Oh, how I want Him!

Blessed Child wrote on Wednesday and Sweet Freedom quoted her yesterday as I do today, "My Jesus, I WANT YOU!! More than I want anything else, more than I want anybody else. I want you to be my life, my all." Thanks Lauren and Julie, your posts this week encouraged me today to share this part of my journey. What a joy to walk through life with sisters who love Jesus and know His transforming love.

The evening I said I longed for laughter, God's display of increasing glory in the sunset was almost beyond belief. It was as if God kept saying, "You think this is amazing? I'll show you more amazing!" It made me laugh out loud as light and intensifying colours kept spilling over the mountains and water and clouds. I had to be conscious of keeping my camera steady as I laughed!






Father, our true Lover, open our hearts and minds to You and all You have for us. You are worthy of all our desire and longing. You fill the hungry with good things, You satisfy the desires of every living thing. We have tasted and seen that You are good, and now we want more of You. We ask You - and trust You - to do this for us. For our joy and for Your glory, Amen.