Soul Kitchen

Last week I read Karen Kingsbury’s booked called Sunset. It is the last of the series and I had to push myself to finish the book so I could say I completed all the series about the Baxter family. I read this quote and it made me reflect on my marriage and the journey God has brought me on:

“A marriage isn’t something you lose. It’s something you work to keep or it’s something you willingly let go.” (Quote taken from Karen Kingsbury’s book “Sunset.”)

I wouldn’t be who I am today if it weren’t for the experiences I’ve had in my marriage. Already my first year of marriage was rough. It was a big adjustment for me learning how to share my space and have someone around 24/7 who didn’t do things the same way as I did. My husband has all these little quirks that just drove me crazy. I think I had more for him to deal with and that drove him even crazier. We went into years 2-3 and during that time had so many fights that we separated a couple times and were ready to call it quits. At one point in this process I had an appointment with a divorce lawyer so that I could end this marriage. I didn’t want to work at it any more.

God had other plans for me. One day I was driving along the road and I was so angry with my husband for something that obviously really bothered me and upset me. Shows how important it was as I cannot remember what we had fought about. A speaker was on the radio talking about marriage and that it is a lifetime commitment and that when couples reach the point in their marriage where it gets worse, they give up instead of remembering their promise they made on their wedding day: “ for better or for worse, in sickness in health…” What was the significance of the wedding band being in a circular shape? A circle has no end just as our commitment to marriage shouldn’t either. I heard what he said about making love a choice… choose to love your spouse… choose to be committed and don’t give up. Those were the last words I wanted to hear yet God knew in that moment I needed to hear them.

Those words were a turning point for me. I couldn’t drive because my eyes were flooded with tears so I had to pull over. There on the side of the road God met me in my brokenness and changed my heart. From that point on I saw that love was a choice and that I had to love my husband above myself and put his needs before mine. I never understood that part until this moment and when I had to walk in God’s truth. The change started in me. I tried to change my husband but God needed to change my heart.

My marriage is not perfect. It is a daily work in progress but God has restored our marriage to the way He designed marriage to be. He chose my husband for me and knew he was the best person for me. My marriage definitely is something that I have to work to keep and I see how willing I was to let it go.

“Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.” ~ Romans 12:9

What I went through in my marriage was real. I experienced real anger... real disappointment…. real frustration. The fights we had were real. I had to go through our separations and counseling to be the woman I am today… Would I trade them? Walking through each of the experiences was painful and still is today as I reflect on them. Did they help me grow? Most definitely…. I can honestly say I’ve grown from them and I’m thankful for what I went through. God doesn’t take us around the valley but through them. He has plans for me and for that I’m thankful.

How has God brought you healing?
Where are you at in your marriage?
What does submission look like for you?
Perhaps you might be walking in a lonely time in your marriage and can’t see a way out.
What do you have to praise God for today?

We'd love to hear from you.
God bless!