The need for perfection

I've spent alot of time in my bathing suit this summer. I have only sisters and amongst us there's always been some silent "competition" in regards to appearances. My self image always goes down when I'm around my thinner sisters who look amazing in bathing suits. I am the 2nd largest of us girls and it's very difficult to admit that. I feel like a fat beluga next to them when in a bathing suit or any clothing that I wear. I wish my self-confidence was higher around my own family.

Last weekend we spent with friends at the lakeside letting kids build sandcastles and swim in the lake. I braved a bathing suit in front of my friend for the first time ever and felt pretty good. I normally will only wear a bathing suit around people I don't know and my immediate family. I was feeling so good that I asked my husband to take a picture of my friend and I in the water. I saw myself on the computer screen when I had downloaded the pictures.... I barely recognized myself... where did all the cellullite come from? Where did the big thighs come from? Was there some camera tricks that were done to make me look that way? Do I really look like that? I can't remember when my body changed to look the way it does! There's rolls and flab everywhere!

I actually was grossed out and edited the pictures so I wouldn't have to have anyone look at those pictures and see how horrible I look. I cropped the pictures so I would only have anyone see the parts of me that I am okay showing.

Yesterday I awoke to a huge zit on my chin that was so big it needed to be popped. Today I went to church with a huge scab on my chin and feeling like the entire church was staring at this huge zit. To top it off there was a family picnic where I was going to be meeting people and talking to them. Everyone is going to see this and not see me but this huge zit that is scabbed! I wanted to skip church and stay home for the day, skip the picnic so I wouldn't have to face anyone. I want people to meet me when I'm feeling like I look good. I wanted myself to look perfect before I meet anyone. This zit ruined everything! I knew it wouldn't be fair to my kids if I stayed home so I went....

What drives our need for perfection? What creates our self image? Why can I not be happy with who God made me to be.... after all I am made in His image? Why do I choose to slap him in the face and say he messed up with certain parts of my body?

I wrote about this topic a couple weeks ago. Body image is something that is so important and Satan can use it to tear us down and make us feel low and worthless. This is an ongoing issue for me and it only arises when it comes to needing to be in bathing suit.

What does God say about me when Satan's words are lies echoing in my head?

1 Samuel 16:7
But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”

1 Corinthians 6:19-20
Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

Genesis 1:27
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

Dear God, fill my mind with scripture when Satan throws lies at me that I am worthless and ugly and that I do not compare to others around me. Fill me with self confidence and a peace that you have created me in your image. I am not a mistake. You chose me and knit me together perfectly and help me Lord to honor you and glorify you in my body. Let me see that beauty is in the heart.... where you look. Forgive me Jesus when I hurt you with these lies that my body isn't perfect. You are perfect and if I am created in your image help me reflect that to others. Thank you that you created me perfectly. I ask Jesus, for confidence as this is an area I struggle with. Amen.