Soul Kitchen

Today I start a new job. Much prayer went into finding it. I talked to God a lot about this job, and for a long time. And he talked to me about it, too. Now that I have it, I am confident it is the right job for me and for his name's sake.

The thing is... I have not one iota of experience in the industry into which I am being plunged. I have to learn from scratch. Everything. This will be for me a new world. New concepts, new people, new tasks, new procedures. I even had to get new clothes.

Between the moments of excitement and hope of good things to come, there are minutes of anxiety and fear.

There has also been a recurring theme in my life for a while, and it is the concept of power. So these verses, which I have written of before, keep coming back to me. "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

It is my weaknesses that are causing me the anxiety and fear. But those are the things I'm supposed to boast in. So, that is what I am going to do today. I am going to do a little boasting.

Look at me everybody! My right elbow (the one that is usually my strong one) has been hurting for weeks, and sometimes, I can hardly move it! I forget things! I make really stupid mistakes! I'm getting old! And watch this! My back is not strong. I have no idea how it will hold up since I will be standing most of the day! I can't see things up close! And today, I have PMS and either am mad and pissy or holding back tears. Isn't that a great way to start a new job?! I suck at laughing at myself when I make mistakes! I have no idea how to motivate and supervise people! Fabulous!

It feels kind of strange and silly, but if boasting in my weakness will result in Christ's power resting upon me, then I will boast all the more! I want to live in the power of God, and if it means being weak, I will be content with that. And I will say with Paul, "When I am weak, then I am strong."

Kinda funny, but the moments of excitement and hope are winning over the anxiety and fear.