Dear sisters:
This week has been a bit ordinary in some ways. I am asking the Lord to let me hear Him in the ordinary. By ordinary I think I mean the repetitive, you know the things that I do every day, day in and day out. Lately, it is "Lord, what can Al tolerate for lunch, snacks, super?" He can tolerate so little these days, because his Gastric Intestinal system is shot from the chemo and lack of immunity due to his leukemia. Sometimes, I wonder if I am not addicted to adrenalin rushes, even in every day life. If something exciting like God appointments, special connections, out of the ordinary plans to look forward to do, like a visit, a game, phone call, etc., I get to feeling guilty, restless and like I am wasting time. I think God needs to provide me with excitement every minuet of the day in order to make me think I live a significant life for God. The thrill of meeting up with someone in church who might need me can also be disappointing when it is just "ordinary". Last night (Sunday) there was nothing worth while on TV after the news and Al didn't have energy to play scrabble, and I didn't feel like reading. I started to get restless and wanted to eat to assuage that yukie feeling. "Lord, please speak to me!" Al was getting ready for bed and I often stay up later. But I heard Him say, "join Al and sit up in bed and I will speak to you." (We have mechanical bed's; I can sit up while Al lays flat). After all the evening prep, I crawled into bed, raised it up and got my Bible out. He spoke to me so comfortingly through His Word. John 10:27 "My sheep recognize my voice; I know them, and they follow me." I felt comforted because He knows us, knows me, and I do follow Him. Then the fog (I think it was tired thinking disease) cleared, and I began to realize how each day was special, I had some heavy duty phone calls, where He was with me; someone invited my daughter and I to lunch yesterday; and Good Friday and Sunday services were such a blessing! Most of all, I gave praise for ordinary days, because all along in these "ordinary" days, I rested; got ideas for Al's meals; and could do my exercises without too much pain. I don't need to be so hard on myself, thinking that if I rest, have no big plans, or watch a favorite program that I am wasting time. God is not hard on me, so why do I do such a good job of that myself? I was comforted with "in quietness and confidence shall be your strength." ( Isaiah 30:15 KJV). Oh yes, today, Easter Monday our families are coming for turkey dinner, and I am praying that it will be a time we will all find a spirit of thankfulness in the fact that the Resurrection of Christ makes even ordinary days into extra - ordinary! God bless you. Dancing Girl
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Dear Marianne,
ReplyDeleteI wrestle with finding value in the ordinary too. Maybe it's our theology that is at fault, and the value that our culture puts on productivity. I understand the restlessness as I have also been pulled from a busy lifestyle into a quieter one, and the tasks I put my hands to seem menial at best. And, yet in the Father's kingdom I believe it's those little unnoticed things that bear the greatest weight. Doesn't Jesus teach that if we want to be great in His kingdom we must become a servant? A servant! Who aspires to that? I'm learning that doing the lowly jobs in a quiet corner is the hardest job of all. It's hard to keep a good attitude, harder still to not want to argue with God. Really? This is all you want me to do today? But, then comes the challenge - to do it well, with love, for Him.
Yep, I sure do understand the challenges of the ordinary. I don't think I've ever heard a sermon on this. I'd like to.
Marianne and Jan,
ReplyDeleteThanks for what you wrote. I too am in a place where I have changed towns were I live and as a result am in a slower pace of life. I used to run around crazy driving kids here and there, always in the car. I ran scrapbook classes and was always on a schedule to get layouts done. Now I am in a town where we walk to school, I am new to town with no social life and no connections at church. I thrived off of serving others and now God is asking me to rest. I do my household mom duties and wonder why God is asking me to do just this. I struggle with that identity as it is something I am not used to doing. I am used to always being busy. I have time now to soak in and have quiet time. I am not used to that and cannot wait to see how God will use me. I am growing so much during this time. I am finding moments of quiet to pray for my children and husband. Time I never had before where while I am washing dishes that I can pray for them. Time to snuggle on the couch and read books that build me up in Christ. I'm not sure why I'm on this journey but I am learning that God is strengthening me for a reason. The women I meet are not receptive to God and are quite closed. God is preparing me for something... can't wait to see what.
Thanks for your post. God bless you Marianne!
Dear child of God!
ReplyDeleteI really sense your delight in taking the time to draw close to Jesus and His Word. It is in the "lonely" times, when our lives are not so crowded that we are "forced" to press into Him and what a balm for our soul and spirit. I agree that usually it is preparation time for some way for me to minister. But oh, how He first wants to minister His love to us! Keep it up girl! Love, Dancing Girl