This past Saturday I attended the Beth Moore Simulcast on her book, So Long, Insecurity. Beth talked to us for about 3 hours on how we can live as secure women. One of the things that she said really struck me (and Julie too), "Insecurity is not a weakness, nor is it humility, it is unbelief." Which, goes to say, that Jesus was not insecure. *sigh* perfection just seemed even harder to attain.
I've noticed over the years that, as I grow in my faith, and I learn more, all the excuses I have for living a life 'of this world' seem to fizzle out and they don't work anymore. I walked away from Beth's simulcast and thought, 'Well, there goes another one.' If being insecure is not believing God, then I can't use my insecurities as an excuse anymore. One of the things that I get really nervous about is going to a group event where I only know one person (usually the host) and I'm by myself. I generally avoid them. See, it seems like as soon as I get there, unconsciously, the mental image of myself flips over. In my head I stop seeing the girl I see in the mirror and only see the dumbed down, ugly version of her. And that's how I think everybody else sees me. I stop seeing the truth and only see what the enemy wants me to.
The other thing that struck me (this more so than the first) was, "You cannot wait until you feel secure to act like it. Security starts with making the decision to be secure in our mind. It then goes to our walk and actions and then affects our attitude and emotion." I'm not very good with that. I have a very hard time ignoring how I'm feeling; I have a hard time obeying by brain rather than my heart.
These past few days (ever since Saturday) I've been trying to do things different. I've been trying to believe God about me. Something that I haven't done in a long, long time. For some reason, I thought I knew myself, knew who I was, better than God did. Silly me. I'm trying to act secure, before I feel it, and I'm trying to remember who I am as I go into situations that generally make me uncomfortable. This coming Saturday I'm going to a 'girls night' with a few girls from work and some of their friends. Normally a situation I would shun. Well, my dear sisters, I am going to flip my hair back and strut my stuff as I walk into that room remembering who I am, and also, whose I am. I am going to believe God about the hardest thing for me- I am going to believe Him for what he says about me.
The call to be perfect can be an overwhelming thought. To be like Jesus seems impossible to attain, but this past week I feel like I've caught a glimpse of what it could be like. If I was truly secure, then I would be believing God for every aspect of my life, and, really, a lot of my issues come from not believing God, not being filled with the holy spirit and not living in the truth. And you know, even these last few days I've noticed a difference in myself. Even if nobody else can see it, I can. And I'm sure God can too, and really, He's all that matters.
Thanks for your post. It really reminded me of what my priorities need to be.
ReplyDeleteWe were chatting with our kids last night about how God gives us the strength we need to do everything. Some people in the world who don't have Jesus have incredible strength to do things but God gives us a different kind of strength... a strength from the inside that only comes from Jesus. Strength to conquer fears, insecurities, grief, etc. We have him to lean on. We have him as a shoulder as Psalm 23 says. He's beside us giving us the strength to go on.
Made me think about our striving for perfection. I know as a woman I struggle to be seen as perfect... look good, hair/makeup put together, house clean, well behaved children, say the right things to new people, etc.... It has caused so many insecurities for me doing it the world's way of needing perfection from the outside and the need to belong and feel secure and accepted.
Jesus is the only one that can give us confidence.... he gives us such an example of who we should strive to be. My striving for perfection must come from walking as Jesus did and let Him be who others see in me.... giving of myself, humble, accepting others, trusting in God and praying... a Jesus confidence! The more I read and soak in His word, the easier it is to walk as He did.
This just kind of hit me this morning. We've been working on soaking in God's word even more as a family and it's been neat to see the strength and joy that comes from that. This is going to be such a great discussion with the kids at the table when we do our devotions... thanks for your post.
Hello Blessed Child:
ReplyDeleteHurray for those insights! You are getting it! I think every one of us gets the razz ma tazz from Satan about how insignificant we are. God created you and me to be perfectly thrilled with who I am. There is no one just like you and that alone makes you special. It's not to be proud, but it is to give Him thanks every day for who I am and that He is perfecting me. I too can do my best and He does the rest. Love you. Dancing Girl
I wanted to tell you earlier...but I loved this post. It resonated so closely with my own heart and particularly your last paragraph. I LOVE what God is doing in you! I love you. You are precious and beautiful sweet sister.
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