Soul Kitchen

"All praise to the God and Father of our Master, Jesus the Messiah! Father of all mercy! God of all healing counsel! He comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us. We have plenty of hard times that come from following the Messiah, but no more so than the good times of his healing comfort—we get a full measure of that, too."
~ 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 (The Message)

Last week I wrote about Psalm 23 and how our journey doesn’t take us around the valleys but that we need to go through them to draw near to God. The journey through the valley is not always easy yet the rewards when we get to the other side are awesome. Sometimes it would be nice to see God's gameplan so we know how our journey will end. Unfortunately God doesn't work that way.

A journey God has me on over the past couple years is something very personal. I struggle with when this journey will end and when I will get to the other side of the valley. There are many days where I think I catch glimpses of the sunshine peeking over the edge and it’s a boost to get me to continue on this journey. Over the last few years I have struggled with depression. Because of this I have had many days where I have felt I’ve been in the pit of hell and others where I feel really good and can get a lot accomplished. For me this journey has been a time where God has shown me to step back and rest…. this is my season to receive. I’ve always been a giver and give myself to others. I love serving others and doing special things for them and it pains me that I cannot give of myself to others in this quiet journey. Most days I need to be by myself and not take on too much. I get overwhelmed very easy and cannot have too much on my schedule before it overwhelms me. I need to do things spontaneously because each day is a hit and miss on how I’m feeling.

The enemy uses this time to bring me down and fill my head with lies. He can take things that have been said to me and use them when I am feeling alone to make me feel worse. I wish I could honestly say that each time that happens I pull out my Bible and rebuke Satan and speak God’s truth but I don’t. It’s hard to describe that this valley I’m going through is a good time for me where God is teaching me many things that I’ve never thought I needed to learn before.

The reason I’m writing about depression is that I know there are many women (and men) who struggle with this like I do. For some it’s very mild and others the depression is very difficult and dark. Each person’s journey through the valley of depression is different from someone else and you cannot compare yourself to how others handled it. When I first got “diagnosed” with depression I had many people tell me that I wasn’t trusting in God enough and that it had to do with my relationship with God and that I had to make things right to get out of it. Others simply told me to snap out of it without understanding how I couldn’t.

A dear friend who God brought into my life on this journey helped me to rest in Jesus in this time. She walked this journey too and has come to the green pastures after walking through the valley of depression. She told me to allow God to meet me in the dark moments. I used to be a person who could sing and pray all day long and this was strange to me to need to be alone and not talk to anyone. She encouraged me to ask God to just rest with me and be beside me and allow him to be near. Let me tell you that changed this journey for me. I can go through my day and I have confidence that God is right there beside me. I cannot always converse with him or feel my heart overflowing with love for him but I know he’s there. I invite him into my dark and lonely moments and fill a void only he can fill.

"My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him." Ps 62:1

"Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him." Ps 62:5

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty." Ps 91:1

Just like God is beside me as I walk through this valley in my life, He's with you. I want to encourage you to find rest in God alone. Rest in Jesus.... safe and secure in His arms as you journey together. Invite him to meet you in the darkness. You're not alone on this journey and don't need to be.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28