Soul Kitchen

I don't have anything prepared for what I was going to write today. Normally I think throughout the week what I'm going to write, and then at the last minute change my mind and write about something else. I didn't do that this week, so now I'm here thinking about what I should write, but don't have anything to change my mind on.

I've been super busy this week. Not that I'm complaining, but it starts to catch up on you. Work has been insane. If I didn't have things to do after work, I could probably stay there all day. Today, however, we get a new girl. She's going to answer phones for me. Part of me is excited. Part of me is uncertain. It'll be great to have someone to answer the phones, make the coffee, do all the menial tasks that I never get around to doing, but on the other hand, I have to train her. So, as one of my coworkers said so well, I'll train her for a few days and then I'll be able to work again. Awesome.

You know the other thing I'm uncertain about? Who's she going to be? (This is wonderfully playing into our whole insecurity talk.) I know she's in her younger to mid twenties, so around my age (I'm 21), but other than that she's a mystery. And here's the thing. I'll tell you the thing. What I am worried about is wether or not there is going to be another person there for me to compare myself to and come up wanting.

Right now there are four woman that work in my office, but only one of them is around my age. I love her to bits, but there are those days when she walks into the office and I just cringe because she looks so good, (she is beautiful) and here I am, having 'one of those days'. I seem to have a lot more than her. And then there's also the fact that I don't think she's gone home on time in weeks. She's super busy as well, but she's also really good at her job and she doesn't have that thought process that says, 'oh well I'm off now so I'll do this tomorrow.' I've gotten better, and worked rather hard, to stop comparing myself to her, but today... new girl comes. I can't help but think that the whole process is going to start again.

I'm also worried that she's going to be super smart and work her way up and essentially kick me out of my job. Stupid fears because I know that my coworkers like me and I know that I'm good at my job, and I don't think my job description will be changing soon (except the receptionist part can be taken out now (: ). I just really don't want my boss to decide he likes her better and would rather her be his assistant. That would suck. I love my job, and am so blessed to have it and the thought of anyone threatening it really freaks me out.

So, here's what I'm going to do. I am going to remember the truth about who I am, not based on what the world says (or that tiny voice in the back of my head), but rather on what God says. He created me and I am fearfully and wonderfully made. So there. (My little statement of defiance directed at the thoughts in my head, not you!). Also, God is the one that gave me this job, I know that for a fact. If something happens to it, then that is up to God and whatever he has in store for me will be great. Up to this point, however, he has only blessed me and so I really don't think I need to worry. Cuz what does worry do? According to Matthew 6: 25-34... it does jack squat.