Starting Today...

It's been too long since I stretched my heart out on this page...

The Lord...stirring something in me...brings life and truth and vision to upcoming days...I anticipate...
Revival.

I wrote on the last page of a journal this morning...something so nostalgic for me in that feeling of seeing final words written there, and then the closing of the book.

  So I re-opened it and flipped through the recorded notes of my heart.  Happy to be passed some of the things I walked through on my journey but also intrigued by places that I was at, places that I want to hold on to and remember, that I don't want to forget.  Oh how the Lord meets us like no other.

So here it is...a prayer written from early summer...remembered today...re-spoken...whispered to the Lord again.

"Lord, will you continue to blow soft your Spirit on the embers of my heart, on my husband's heart, my kid's hearts...fanning a flame that hungers more and more of you...unsatisfied by the empty pleasures and temptations and illusions of happiness that this present world suggests.  No, Lord...would it be that our hunger runs raw and deep for You--a love that satisfies, a trust that defeats fear...pure and holy.  That our family...a home full of imperfect people, could love you, grow closer to you...not fazed by illusions, not distracted with mirage--but could see You and be steadfast, confident in what is sure, what is true, what is beautiful...trusting, fearless, Divine inspired, Spirit directed, Truth focused and Graced Lavished.
I want this.  I want it for my marriage.  I want it for my kids.  I want it for our family and multiplied by generations.
And fear says to me, "What pain will we have to endure to have what I want, what I ask?"
Is pain the only way?
It seems...you ask for growth and it comes only through pain...so fear talks and it seems easier and less frightening to just ask for blessings and peace.
But I want Joy too.
Joy in the present and joy in the Presence of my Beloved Saviour.  Joy in obedience.  Joy in trusting, even when I feel afraid.
I want sweetness in the moment, anticipation that when I look at you Jesus, and look into your precious eyes for the first time, that I can look at you without fear, without shame, without regret....just joy.
I want more of you Jesus.
Breathe your Spirit of Life into me today.
Can I take just one day at a time?
  It's hard to look sometimes beyond today when the fear of the unknown future in these circumstances seems to loom in darkness up ahead...but,
I think I can do just one day at a time...

Lavished in Grace
Focused on Truth
Inspired by your Heart
Directed by your Spirit
Choosing to Trust you in Confidence
Free from Fear

Starting Today.