Saturday, July 31, 2010

Twelve Days of Mexico



This past week and a half, I have been in Guadalajara, Mexico on a missions trip. That's why I haven't been writing posts these past two Saturdays :) Anyway, it was an incredible trip where I made many friends, experienced new things, and learned so much from God. He taught me that spending time with Him every day is so important, and that it really helps me get through the day. He also taught me that being vulnerable is sometimes a good thing, and that sharing where I'm at in my walk is important to help me grow. I hope to carry these lessons and friendships with me through the rest of my life. I pray that God will be with my team and my Mexican friends... that He'll bless them and protect them. :) I'm so glad God called me to go, and I hope someday to return.

Friday, July 30, 2010

Come sit with Me

Come. Come sit with me for a while. You've already shared your concerns with me; now I want you
to simply
be with me
here on the swing.
Nice, isn't it? Remember Mary? She liked to sit with me. My sweet Martha would get frustrated with her, but I let Martha know that it wasn't time wasted. Mary knew. She knew it was good for her heart to rest with me. Listening to me.

She knew the sayings of Solomon and was experiencing this:
"Dear friend, listen well to my words;
tune your ears to my voice.
Keep my message in plain view at all times.
Concentrate! Learn it by heart!
Those who discover these words live, really live;
body and soul, they're bursting with health.
Keep vigilant watch over your heart;
that's where life starts.
" Proverbs 4:20-23 The Message

I think you know this too, don't you? *chuckle* After all, it's your heart I care about. Your peace of mind. Your refreshment. And we both know I'm the Source. That's why I asked you to come sit with me. That's why I give this invitation,
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." Matthew 11:28,29

My precious one, I love you and always am with you. So, come. Be with me. I want you by me.

Friday, July 23, 2010

More please.

I was at a retreat last week - a silent retreat. I was there to help my sister cook for the women attending, but I was also able to be part of the silence and take part in the morning and evening prayers and the afternoon sessions. One of the questions we were asked to answer was, "What do you long for?"
My two part answer was, "Laughter, and more of God's presence."

I know that God is fully with me, but what I was expressing was that I want to want Him more, and be more and more aware of Him. That night as we engaged in responsive readings and sang refrains of praise, my eyes were drawn to an icon that was set on a shelf.

As I gazed at it, I was undone.

I was undone by the tender love between Mother and Child. I saw the giving and receiving of love in their form and face. I saw desire and being desired in their posture and and expression. Then I made the connection... and wept.

I thought back to another mother and child - a grandmother this time, holding her infant grandson, drinking in the precious sight and smell and warmth and weight of him. And wanting... wanting so much more of him. Wanting with all her being for the breath of life to fill his body so that days and weeks, years and decades could also be filled with experiencing him.

That's how I want to want Jesus - basking in Him for who He is to me right now, but wanting Him to increasingly be so much more to me. I want His love, His character, His Being to be even sweeter to me as the day progresses and the tomorrows come. Oh, how I want Him!

Blessed Child wrote on Wednesday and Sweet Freedom quoted her yesterday as I do today, "My Jesus, I WANT YOU!! More than I want anything else, more than I want anybody else. I want you to be my life, my all." Thanks Lauren and Julie, your posts this week encouraged me today to share this part of my journey. What a joy to walk through life with sisters who love Jesus and know His transforming love.

The evening I said I longed for laughter, God's display of increasing glory in the sunset was almost beyond belief. It was as if God kept saying, "You think this is amazing? I'll show you more amazing!" It made me laugh out loud as light and intensifying colours kept spilling over the mountains and water and clouds. I had to be conscious of keeping my camera steady as I laughed!






Father, our true Lover, open our hearts and minds to You and all You have for us. You are worthy of all our desire and longing. You fill the hungry with good things, You satisfy the desires of every living thing. We have tasted and seen that You are good, and now we want more of You. We ask You - and trust You - to do this for us. For our joy and for Your glory, Amen.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Puttin' On the Love

Ahh...Blessed Child...I love your heart.  And I echo your words:


"My Jesus, I WANT YOU!! More than I want anything else, more than I want anybody else. I want you to be my life, my all.  I am Yours."


Some words I have been praying through and meditating on that have been an encouragement to me, inspiring, challenging, filling and life-giving from Colossians 3:12-14


Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.


My sister is getting married next week...How exciting!  We've all been talking dresses and outfits for some time now...even Lulu has something special to wear!  My son is playing in the BC Summer Games...I sat tonight and looked at over 3400 athletes fill the football field dressed in their uniforms and colours for the opening ceremonies.  Awesome.


Lord...often what we wear says so much about us...what we are doing or celebrating or representing...Help us to know who we are...Chosen, holy and dearly loved.  Dressed with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, forgiveness and love.  So that all who see us...will know that we are yours.  

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

What else do I need??

I found out something Tuesday, it's not really bad news, but it's also news that I didn't really want to know. I'll tell you what it is. My ex is now dating someone again. And I'm not. My first reaction was of surprise and a wee bit of dismay and then I had to start thinking... How does this really affect me? In all honesty, not at all. It doesn't make a bit of difference to how I live my life. I am not in contact with him at all and it's not like I have to see him ever... It's just the fact that he's dating and I'm not.

After the initial shock (although that's to strong a word... I'm just not sure what the right one is) I started thinking quite logically. Am I sad because I'm single? No. Do I want to be in a relationship? Sure, what single girl doesn't? But it's not like it overwhelms my life and it's not like I'm unhappy. About 10 minutes after I found out this tid bit of information I was on here, writing this. After I read his Facebook status that said 'In a Relationship' and after the initial heart drop, here's what I thought, "Ok, Lord, I'm yours.' I don't need a boy, I don't need a relationship and I don't need to 'beat' my ex in the inevitable race for another relationship (although it would have been slightly gratifying... probably not my best intention...).

I'm trusting God with my life. I don't know a single guy who is everything that I'm looking for, so why would I wish for a relationship that isn't going to be exactly what I want or need. I've got God, I've got what I need and who I need to make me completely, perfectly and incandescently happy.

It's interesting... my relationship with God has been a bit lax lately and I was just thinking Tuesday morning that I wanted something to kind of shake me out my funk. Well, I can say this did the trick. I don't want to go through life looking at other people and comparing my life to theirs and feeling sorry for myself. I want to live life to the full, I want to experience all the joy and sorrow that comes with it, but I can't do it without God. The only way I can experience everything is if I seek Jesus Christ with my whole heart and if I fall even more in love with Him. So, here goes! My Jesus, I WANT YOU!! More than I want anything else, more than I want anybody else. I want you to be my life, my all.

I am Yours.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

You are Loved

Hello my Precious Sisters,

Life has been busy as of late...isn't summer supposed to be relaxing?  Well....I'm in a different stage of life I guess.  Vacation has been that I don't have to be up at 6:30 in the mornings and that I don't have to make lunches.  I'm okay with that.  Other than that...I'm still busy...and I'm okay with that too.

Life has held some uncertainty for me lately, as it usually does.  The Lord, my Dearest and most Beloved
and Faithful Constant has been steadfast as He always His.  I choose to trust Him.

I don't know what place you are at right now in your journey but I want you to know that Jesus is our Hope.  He is our Joy.  He is the One that can love you like no other.  There really is no one that can ever love you or meet your hearts desire like Him.  Call to Him and He will answer you.

It's late and I'm tired.  I had a most wonderful day today.  Know that you are loved and that you are precious and that God the Father hears you when you call to him.  He is the One that listens and answers and provides for you.  Sweet Sister...May you know without a doubt that you are loved.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Thank heavens for the Truth!

I am lesson planning right now - well, I have actually packed it in for the night - but I was just lesson planning. I am in the middle of planning my short story unit for English 11. I will be teaching a short story that makes reference to the parable of the prodigal son. The story is new to me (the short story that is, not the parable), but it is quite an interesting one. It is about family dynamics and how a particular son always "charms" his family and in doing so manipulates situations to always work out in his favour. He always facetiously quotes the prodigal son when he is apologizing to his family. However, half way through the story, he lets his family down (really lets them down) and this time he can't charm his way out of the mess. Long story short (well, short story made shorter I guess is technically correct!), the father finally stands up to the son and tells him that he either needs to start pulling his weight, or he needs to leave the family. While reading the story, the reader is led to cheer at this action of the father and feel that justice has somehow been restored because of it. As I said, it is an interesting story, and one of the better ones that I have read in this particular anthology, but it sure pales in comparison. While the son got what "he deserved", this story doesn't hold the beauty of the parable told by Jesus. What a beautiful story of forgiveness, redemption and love: the kind of love that forgets all past wrongs and runs to embrace us; the kind of love that clothes us in the finest robes; the kind of love that would lay down His life for us. I will be teaching my class the parable of the prodigal son to give them some context and to help them understand the many references in the short story. Lord, I pray you will prepare the hearts of those that will hear the story in my classroom, and I pray that your Holy Spirit will whisper in their ears that this love is YOU and that you are offering yourself to them.

I am thankful that between these two stories there is a stark difference. I am thankful that one is Truth.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

God is enough...

The following is a portion of a song that has encouraged me greatly as of late. May you be equally as encouraged:

I will swim in the deep
'Cuz You'll be next to me
You're in the eye of the storm
And the calm of the sea
You'll never out of reach

God, You know where I've been
You were there with me then
You were faithful before
You'll be faithful again
I'm holding Your hand

There's a raging sea
Right in front of me
Wants to pull me in
Bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise
If You want them to
I will follow You
I will follow You
I will follow You

God Your love is enough
You will pull me through
I'm holding onto You
God Your love is enough
I will follow You
I will follow You

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Perfect

I don't know about you, but I'm a performaholic. Let me enlighten you on this subject. Basically, I feel like I have to perform all the time by always being the top at whatever I do. I strive for perfection, and I have this fear of failure that sometimes rears its ugly head. God has taught me how to overcome this fear many times... but it sometimes still shows up.


Day 197 - "Perfect"
(July 3, 2010)

Anyways, I guess this is just a friendly reminder to everyone (including me) that no one's perfect. Only God can claim that title. We can be really good at lots of things, but we're human and it's natural to fail. We can't be afraid of it. We have to take the mistakes we make and learn from them. Easier said than done, that's for sure. It's a challenge that I'm sure I'll battle all my life, but with my heavenly Daddy's help, I know that in the end, I'll conquer it :) And that's true for you too.

Friday, July 2, 2010

God keep our land glorious and free


I love my country and am very proud and thankful to be Canadian. Both my mom and my dad were born in the former Soviet Union under the communist regime. Life for them was completely different than it has been for me as a first generation Canadian in this free and affluent country.

My parents told us stories of their lives through those turbulent years. They were our bedtime stories, and they sometimes made for some pretty scary dreams at night. I will try to give you a glimpse of their lives in Russia and as refugees during WWII.

Although my parents were raised in families where they knew the love of God, their faith had to be kept quiet. My father's family had a Bible that his mother would read after they had covered the windows. She sternly warned her sons that they should never talk about this part of their lives. My mother's family had a Bible and a songbook. She remembers her parents singing these songs together. There were no churches, so they never went to church.

Fear of arousing suspicion of loyalty to Mother Russia was always part of their lives. When my mother was little, she innocently mentioned in school that she had an aunt who lived in Canada. My mom was reprimanded for talking about this because simple statements like this could bring serious trouble with the authorities.

When my father was seven, the Secret Police entered their family home at night and took his father away. As my dad's father was being led away, he said to my dad, "Take good care of your brother." My dad never saw his father again nor his carefree childhood either. He got a job tending sheep and earned more money than his mother did. When his mother worked, he didn't just tend the sheep, but his younger brother and also their baby brother who had been born three weeks after his father was taken away. How ironic that he would get a job as sheepherder, when the alleged crime for which his father was arrested, was stealing sheep.

Life was difficult and food was scarce during those times of raidings. The little food that the family salvaged would be divided among the children, and my mom's mother would often tell the children that she wasn't hungry so her children would have more to eat. Once they were given some cornmeal to make into porridge. That night soldiers came into their home. My mom remembers how her mother possessively kept her hand on the lid of the pot in order to keep it for her children. The soldiers slept in their house that night. It was wall to wall bodies on the floor making it impossible for my mom to get to the outhouse at night without stepping on those sleeping on the floor.

More than three years of travelling from place to place as refugees during World War II, provided stories of God's miraculous provision and hand of guidance. I heard the story of my mom's sister who, when the train came to a stop, wanted to leave the train in search of food for the family to eat. Her mother begged her not to leave and hung onto her for dear life. Just then the train started moving again. In the chaos of the crowds, she would have been lost if her mother had let go of her hand.

When my mom's family came into a Poland, they were welcomed into a village home where they, as dirty travellers, were given the luxury of sleeping on beds... with fresh laundered sheets. God also provided shelter for their family in a Catholic Monastery for 10 months, where 24 people slept in one room. In Germany, it was providential to have slept in the forest on the night that Russian soldiers suddenly invaded the area and raided and ravaged the refugees there. My mom and her sisters - all teens at the time - had been hidden and spared the horrors other women had to endure.

Hearing my parents tell of a loving God who faithfully carried them through times of trouble and hardship, has been a huge influence on my life. The life they've had in Canada has been more wonderful than they could ever have imagined life being. Each prayer at the dinner table included thanksgiving for our freedom. So now, when Canada Day comes around, every year I hang the Canadian flag on the flagpole on our house, I sing God keep our land glorious and free as a heartfelt prayer, and I am truly thankful.

I'm thankful for freedom - for freedom of speech and religion. I'm thankful for an abundance of food and for shelter, for comfy beds and clean sheets, for privacy and indoor plumbing, for the encouragement I receive when gathering together with believers, and for the ever-present, continual goodness of God.

Even though I do celebrate our country and am a proud Canadian, I'm mindful that this world is not our home but our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ. (Phil. 3:20) While we wait though, we need to keep in mind what God told his people in Jeremiah 29:7. But seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you into exile, and pray to the Lord on its behalf, for in its welfare you will find your welfare.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

What I Know to Be True

I have been struggling to write lately...not in my journal (that handwritten book is full of the scribbled sentiments of my heart), but writing my thoughts out to put on the table here at Soul Kitchen has been a little bit harder.  I haven't been sure how to formulate into words the smorgasbord of my mind so that it makes sense to anyone other than my Heavenly Father who loves me so.

But for my precious sisters and from my precious sisters...I write what I know to be true.

Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of Christ.  Romans 10:17

When I choose to speak the words of Christ out loud so that my own ears can hear my own voice proclaiming what I am struggling to believe...Faith happens....

The Holy Spirit does for me what I am powerless to do for myself.

I am God's chosen daughter....holy and dearly loved.  I will not wear the rags of an orphan or beggar but will clothe myself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Dressed as the King's daughter,  I will forgive those who have hurt me just as my Lord has forgiven me.  Over all these virtues I will put on love.  (taken from Colossians 3:12-14)

My God is good and He is crazy about me....His goodness and His love for me is not based on my circumstances or my feelings.  His mercies are new every morning.

Whatever I suffer in this life, be it big or small...is merely a blink of the eyes in the light of the eternity that I will spend with my Saviour.

I will give the first portions of my heart unto my Lord...and He will do the impossible.  He will take my fears and fill my mind with peace.  He will provide. (1 Kings 17)
(There's a lot more to this one but if I tried to write it out...for sure, I'd never get this post written and posted before midnight :)

Blessed be the name of the Lord.  He is my Rock.  He is my Joy.  He is my Hope.  I Love Him.