You want me to be... perfect??

We, as Christians, are called to live life like Jesus. It can be a pretty intimidating command, especially when you think about the fact that Jesus never sinned. He never swore under his breath at the driver in front of him (admit it, you've done it too), he never stole, murdered or did anything that we would consider the 'big sins'. The thing is, though, he also never stopped believing God. I, for one, cannot say that I have believed God my entire life.

This past Saturday I attended the Beth Moore Simulcast on her book, So Long, Insecurity. Beth talked to us for about 3 hours on how we can live as secure women. One of the things that she said really struck me (and Julie too), "Insecurity is not a weakness, nor is it humility, it is unbelief." Which, goes to say, that Jesus was not insecure. *sigh* perfection just seemed even harder to attain.

I've noticed over the years that, as I grow in my faith, and I learn more, all the excuses I have for living a life 'of this world' seem to fizzle out and they don't work anymore. I walked away from Beth's simulcast and thought, 'Well, there goes another one.' If being insecure is not believing God, then I can't use my insecurities as an excuse anymore. One of the things that I get really nervous about is going to a group event where I only know one person (usually the host) and I'm by myself. I generally avoid them. See, it seems like as soon as I get there, unconsciously, the mental image of myself flips over. In my head I stop seeing the girl I see in the mirror and only see the dumbed down, ugly version of her. And that's how I think everybody else sees me. I stop seeing the truth and only see what the enemy wants me to.

The other thing that struck me (this more so than the first) was, "You cannot wait until you feel secure to act like it. Security starts with making the decision to be secure in our mind. It then goes to our walk and actions and then affects our attitude and emotion." I'm not very good with that. I have a very hard time ignoring how I'm feeling; I have a hard time obeying by brain rather than my heart.

These past few days (ever since Saturday) I've been trying to do things different. I've been trying to believe God about me. Something that I haven't done in a long, long time. For some reason, I thought I knew myself, knew who I was, better than God did. Silly me. I'm trying to act secure, before I feel it, and I'm trying to remember who I am as I go into situations that generally make me uncomfortable. This coming Saturday I'm going to a 'girls night' with a few girls from work and some of their friends. Normally a situation I would shun. Well, my dear sisters, I am going to flip my hair back and strut my stuff as I walk into that room remembering who I am, and also, whose I am. I am going to believe God about the hardest thing for me- I am going to believe Him for what he says about me.

The call to be perfect can be an overwhelming thought. To be like Jesus seems impossible to attain, but this past week I feel like I've caught a glimpse of what it could be like. If I was truly secure, then I would be believing God for every aspect of my life, and, really, a lot of my issues come from not believing God, not being filled with the holy spirit and not living in the truth. And you know, even these last few days I've noticed a difference in myself. Even if nobody else can see it, I can. And I'm sure God can too, and really, He's all that matters.

Keep the Sabbath holy...

I have posted previously about a verse that stood out to me as I was reading through Leviticus. In it, the priests were told to "distinguish between the holy and the common." Even before I read this verse and more so now, I have been thinking about what it means to be holy and how I can make my house a holy household. Of course, it is no coincidence that Chris is now speaking on holiness. A friend and I have been in dialogue about this quite a bit. Her and I were talking the other day about a variety of things and she read aloud Isaiah 58. While we were actually discussing something other than holiness, I was struck by what it said about keeping the Sabbath holy. My mum used to tell me of how when she was a child she was not even allowed to go for a walk on a Sunday. I used to think this not only odd but legalistic and way too constricting. My friend mentioned that her husband's grandmother always made a big pit of soup on Saturday evening so that her family would be fed on Sunday, but that she would not have to work to have them fed. Again, this seemed rather "over the top". But is it? My friend and I also discussed what it is to be "exceptional" (something that really struck her at the Beth Moore similcast). Once again, I was reminded of what it says in Leviticus; distinguish between the holy and the common. The common is not exceptional, the holy is. Of course I would be seen as odd if I adopted the view of the Sabbath that some of our grandparents and parents were raised with. But it would be exceptional. As odd as I may seem (especially to my husband and my children) I am hoping to "revamp" Sundays in our house. No more TV (we really don't watch much anyway, but I don't know what I will do for the Canucks' playoffs games that fall on Sundays!!), no more stores, no more restaurants, no more cooking, no more house work, no more idle talk (as it says in Isaiah). If I want to pursue a life of holiness why am I going against the commandment in which we are told to keep the Sabbath holy? So, in my quest to find out what holiness is, and how to live it, this is where I am starting. I'll let you know how it goes!

Unseen

Dear beautiful sisters - young and old.
Sunday I wrote a blog and published it. However, it didn't go anywhere. Then I spent literally hours trying to work on this computer to figure out what I am doing wrong. I called Julie and she answered some of my questions. I can see why some elderly folks don't get a computer, because it is still such a learning curve for me. I'll hear the instructions once, even twice and have them written down, but, I am sure to find a way to mess it up somehow and then feel lost! However, persistence pays off! I looked in the htt://part and noticed that I had one address as soulkitchensister.blogspot.com, and another one: soulkitchensisters.blogspot.com. Well, the "s"made all the difference in the world. At least, I will post this one again and hope it lands not in some draft, but so you can read it under that beautiful picture of our blog!
So this posting is all different again today. I think this week has been all about the persistence of the Holy Spirit to keep my mind on the "things not seen". ll Cor. 4:18 Amp. says,"Since we consider and look not to the things that are seen, but to the things that are unseen, for the things that are visible are temporal (brief and fleeting), but the things that are visible are deathless and everlasting." In our case, it is Al and my health issues. Even tho' Al is out of the hospital, the leukemia is still the big "unseen" healing we are praying for. The journey of faith and fear when dealing with chronic health issues for which the Doctors tell us is no cure has been conflictual and thus draining. One the one hand I know from the Word that God can and wants to heal; (Matt. 10:8) and again on the other hand Heb.9:27 states that"it appointed unto man once to die". So I feel like I am hanging between two truths. It seems that we have not received a definite answer which way God is leading. Hence we are partly preparing for either eventuality. However, there is something in our believe system that makes us pray for life to continue. God has done miracles. Sometimes a miracle takes a long time and many testings to refine our faith. At this point we are following the opportunities that have come our way. Like, seeking help through naturopathic means. A Fort Langley Doctor suggests IV Vit. C infusions 2 x's a week for a year. It seems like an overwhelming commitment of time, money and energy. But, we have heard that others have really benefited from this. These have not been easy days, as my arthritis really kicked up, but wow, so far have had the strength to put all our hope and faith into the One who keeps his promises to His children. On our part, as job in chapter 13:15a says during his time of not seeing any results, "though He slay me, yet will I trust Him." Thank you Jesus for this awesome hope in God's faithfulness. P.S. I read all your bogs and am so blessed by each of your postings. They are so uplifting. Love you all. Marianne

So Long, Insecurity...Week 8

I feel like I've got so much to say...I don't even know where to start.  I also feel like I'm in a little bit of overload if you know what I mean.  I'm a processor.  I always need a little time to work through in my head and heart all of the things the Lord is teaching me.  Which is probably just a nice way of saying that I'm a S-L-O-W  L-E-A-R-N-E-R!!!!!

So....I loved our little Good Riddance/Farewell Party for Insecurity.  This picture was taken early in the evening and so is missing a couple of sweet sisters that got here after the fact.

One of the girls brought a beautiful and delicious chocolate cake.....would you look at those roses!

Bless their hearts...I was still putting stuff together when they got here...hadn't made the coffee or the punch yet but they just gathered in the kitchen and helped me finish it up in true sisterly fashion.

I had a few balloons, and found the sweetest confetti at the dollar store (in honour of my dear friend, Raylene).  We all signed a good-bye card that brought many smiles to my heart but the best part of the evening was sitting around my living room sharing together of our journeys and what God has been teaching us about insecurity and ourselves.  "You're right, Beth...she's been a bad friend to us."

One of the things that is an obvious comfort is sharing together with other women and laughing and recognizing that we are not alone in our insecurities.  The other cool thing that we all realized is that although we find ourselves in situations still, that can cause us to feel insecure, we are recognizing it for what it is and well on our way to renewing our minds in the security of Christ.  Now that's beautiful to hear.

From there....We had the Beth Moore Simulcast on Saturday.  Soooo much fun and so much to take in.
I loved it.  One of the biggest "Aha" moments for me was when Beth said that,  "Insecurity is not a weakness, it is unbelief."  That statement totally relates to me in my personal life right now.  Interesting.

She said a whole lot of other stuff and I walked away from there encouraged, inspired and determined to...Believe God!!!!

So....Back to the book....I am slowing things down here a little bit and will only do a chapter a week from here on in until I finish the book.  I just want to make sure that I'm getting everything out of it that I can.  So here's Beth's homework for this week.  I will post my own answer in the comments section later on this week.

Chapters 14

1) As you surely noticed, Chapter 14 is more of a testimony than a teaching but it concludes with a charge to deal with our female insecurities for the sake of young girls coming up behind us.  Annabeth was my big inspiration for the journey. Briefly describe someone who is worth doing what it takes to you to live abundantly and effectively in Christ. Help us picture her so that she inspires us, too. Needless to say, don’t share more than she’d want you to.

Love to you all.

Julie

Rest for Weary Souls

I read this verse the other day, and was struck by how good it sounds.


Day 127 - "Rest"
(Apr. 24, 2010)

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest... For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

-Matthew 11:28, 30

When life gets crazy and I feel like I'm in over my head, I can rest in knowing that God's got my back. I'll take His burden any day :)

It's comforting to know that God is there for us to dump all our baggage at His feet, and take up a light and easy burden, living in His rest.

Every Day

I went for a walk down the road yesterday morning. Part of the way down the road, I ran back home to get my camera.

Now you see why. Aren't they just the cutest? I love baby calves. I was raised in the city but got to spend lots of time at my aunt's dairy farm. I always loved going into the barn to see the new calves. The best part was reaching my hands out towards them and having the calves suck on my fingers. I'm sure that's how they came to be my favourite baby animal.

As I took these pictures, I thought of Teagan, our newest Soul Kitchen writer, who goes by the name DelighT. Love the name DelighT, by the way. I wish it showed up this way at the bottom of her post instead of in all upper case letters. It shows up as DelighT only in our administrative pages. I also love Teagan's 365 day photo commitment. Inspiring. Once in a while, I think of getting into photography more and am tempted with the idea of joining Facebook's "365" project too.

What do you think? Should I go for it? I thought I'd change the setting on my camera from automatic to manual. A few pictures later, I checked the setting and was horrified to see that I had taken all these pictures with the underwater setting! Thus, the calf that is SO red, as my daughter-in-law observed from the pictures I emailed her.

I don't think I've ever done anything consistently for as a long as a year. Not quite anyway. I did determine quite a while back though, that I would praise the LORD every single day.

Psalm 145:2 Every day I will praise you and extol your name for ever and ever.

This I have done, and this will I do. By God's grace it won't just be for one year equalling 365 days, but every day... for ever and ever. Even today, as I gave full expression to the grief I've carried these last 23 days since I've held my precious grandson's body which never took a single breath in this world. Even as I heard myself produce those agonizing sounds as I grieved that I would never again hold Jonnic in my arms on this side of heaven. Even then, my heart and my mind still said, "Blessed be the Name of the LORD." Yes, even today - and every day - I will bless the Lord and praise His name for ever and ever.

I've got this one

My dad's sermon really hit home for me this past Sunday. It was about holiness, and how the church in North America has lost the sense of holiness that surrounds God. I'm one of those people. I've gotten so focused on the 'Friend' that God is, or the 'Lover' or the 'Father' that I've forgotten the 'Lord'. I have forgotten how big God is.

I was sitting in church and I was talking to God. It was before the sermon had started, so we were probably worshipping, or announcements were being read, but I was telling God what was bothering me. Right in the middle of my whining (that's basically what it was) I heard God say, "I got this one." I stopped praying. The way He said it was just like, "I've got it covered, you can stop worrying now. You can stop wishing, I know what you want. You can stop trying to figure everything out, I know what's going to happen. I've got this one." And you know what? He does. It was like this big sense of relief just flooded over me. God's got it. I don't have to worry about it, I can trust him and believe him for that which will thrill my heart the most. He knows what's best for me.

This past November I planned a trip to England (I'm trying to remember if I've talked about that trip before... oh well). Anyways, I was going to go and visit two friends that are living over there for a while. Through a series of circumstances, one of my friends came home early (she was nannying for a while) and everything else I had planned pretty much fell through. Nothing was working and, to be perfectly honest, I didn't want to go anymore. So I cancelled my trip. If nothing had changed, if my trip had played out the way I had originally planned, my trip would have been cancelled for me by a volcano that blew up over Iceland. My plane would have been cancelled and I wouldn't have been able to go anyway. Coincidence? I think not.

God's got this one. He's got every 'one' that I can possibly think of. He's watching out for me and not only does he have 'it' covered, he's got me covered. My God is the God of the universe. He is bigger, stronger, and more holy than anything I can imagine. And, frankly, He's got this one.