Listen to me

"Listen to me, you who pursue righteousness
and who seek the LORD..."

That would be me... and I hope that's you too. Pursuing righteousness and seeking God; they go hand in hand. There's no such thing as righteousness apart from God. And it's a for sure thing -
His righteousness is a for sure thing... totally trustworthy.

I like how after He implores His people to listen (Isaiah 51), He says,

"But my salvation will last forever,
my righteousness will never fail." (verse 6)

and then He says basically the same thing two verses later...

"But my righteousness will last forever,
my salvation through all generations." (verse 8)

It's obvious it's something we need to hear, and it's something He wants us to hear. Are you listening? Even when you fall short. Listen. When you mess up and lose control in the many ways we're prone to lose it... listen. His righteousness will never fail. He knows our righteousness does fail, and will fail, and always has failed...miserably. But then, it's not about our righteousness... is it?

For He has us covered.

"For he has clothed me with garments of salvation
and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness." Isaiah 61:10

That's life-giving news! So, we can say along with Isaiah in the first part of this verse,

"I delight greatly in the LORD;
my soul rejoices in my God."

This morning I was in the swimming pool with my grandson. He was scared that I'd let him go. He was whining and whimpering as I took him into the water. I had to whisper, "Listen to me. Stop crying and listen to me. I've got you. I'm holding you. I won't let go. I've got you."

Reassurance. His salvation will last forever. His righteousness will never fail. Trust Him. Delight greatly and rejoice in your Righteous God.

Significant!

Just this past week, I met my neighbor at the postal boxes down the street from our house.  He is a wonderful neighbor and seems to have a deep concern for people.  I warned him that in a few days, we would have a houseful of teenagers who would be staying the night and it might get a little noisy.  It would turn out to be around 30 people.  Fortunately, my daughter took a few of the young people home with her for the night.  My husband had just finished a kids camp just beyond the mountains of Whistler and about an hours drive down a dirt road.  We have been doing this particular camp for 11 years but was unable to get the same location as  had been available the previous years.  There would be no phone service, drinking water would have to be hauled in, and there was no electricity.  Pretty much, we had been spoiled to the conveniences of more modern camp grounds with running water, electricity and bath houses and oh yeah, a pay phone.  Not to forget, the beautiful lake for swimming, the nearby convenience store and other amenities available at the old location.  

I listened to some of the camp counselors share of what God had done in their lives during this camp.  A lot of them expressed their fear of a new place, knowing it would be nothing like the place that had been available to them before.  Some said on the first day, they did not know if they would be able to make it through the whole week.  They talked of having to depend totally on the Lord for their strength.  The team was a group of high school and university students from Crystal Lake, Illinois.   Each day, they gave all they had to care for, minister to, and share with the children attending the camp how much Jesus loves them.  This was done more in actions than in words, although there were daily devotions and Bible studies.  For most of the kids attending, because of the location of where they live, this is the only camp they will ever be able to attend.  So last year, when we were told, we could not come back to the old location,  a family who also has a heart for children offered us the use of their property.  It took a great amount of work and effort to get it ready for the camp.  None of this could have happened without the help of  Christian friends.  I have heard  this was the hardest but the most successful camp that has ever been because of the unity of the camp.  Everyone worked together, from those who brought the kids to camp, to those who helped cook and those who washed dishes.  There were also those who lead the group meetings, lead the singing and also those who did a lot of clean up.  There were those provided drinking water, who set up tents, cleared the brush, and those who carefully stayed awake to watch over the camp. There were those who were available to attend to medical issues if some should arise.  I think the average size of the camp was around 110 people.  The success of the camp came through a lot of prayer and unity among the believers.  People who gave of themselves to bring joy and the hope of Jesus to the lives of those who do not have a personal relationship with Him.  I was not there myself this year, but I prayed a lot.  

I love it when I see Christian friends working together... accomplishing those things that we cannot accomplish alone.  From time to time I would get word from my husband telling me how God had used someone there to meet their needs.  God needs all of us... not just some of us.  He has given us all different gifts that when used together, brings great glory and honor to Him.   We may think that we do not have very much to offer... but God uses sometimes the least to prove the most powerful!   A quarter in our shopping cart, will fill our baskets full of groceries.  Such a little thing... but it carries the load.  Never allow yourself to think that you are insignificant.  We are all significant in the kingdom of God!

"There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit.  There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord.  There are different kinds of working, but the same God works all of them in all men." 1 Corinthians 12:4-6

"All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and He gives them to each one just as He determines.  1 Corinthians 12:11

At the Table

One of the things I love about Soul Kitchen is that it was created to be a place where we are welcome to come to the table and share where we are at in our spiritual journey or what God is revealing to us through our personal relationship with him.

When we are in a personal relationship with Jesus Christ....we come to his table as one family. It doesn't matter if we are man, woman or child. We come on equal ground regardless of our age, our race,our background, our social or financial standing....it doesn't matter if we've known Jesus for seventy-five years or seventy-five minutes....we come as one, to his table. He loves us and wants us, and wants relationship with us.

He wants us to share with each other, learn from each other, care for one another and encourage each other as we grow and struggle in our faith journey.

A dear friend shared with me the other day how he had the opportunity to listen, and pray and care for someone who is on a journey of healing from sexual abuse. He described the strength that he saw in them and the new sense of hope and peace living out in their life as they continue their journey and are now reaching out to others that have been broken and abused.

And this is what we are to do. Listen to each other. Care for each other. Pray for each other. Encourage each other to keep pressing on...to not give up no matter how hard it gets sometimes...to remind each other to keep our hearts and minds focused on the One who is greater than anything we might be going through...Jesus Christ, the Healer, the Provider, the One who Loves us more than our human minds can comprehend.

This is also our heart for Soul Kitchen. If you need a place to share...write to us. If you need someone to pray for you...write to us. We would love to care for you in this way...because we're all in a journey and we need each other.

As we come to our table today from all different places....my prayer for you is this...it comes from Ephesians 3:14-21.

...I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith--that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generation, forever and ever. Amen.

On Purpose

This morning I'm thinking about sighing. There are words to express what's in my mind and to express my emotions. And if I believe that "the tongue of the wise brings healing" and "death and life are in the power of the tongue", I guard against speaking words from my lips that are hurtful, and have purposed to say things that encourage and strengthen. Some things (like this) are important to decided ahead of time to do. David expressed to God in his prayer in Psalm 17, "I have purposed that my mouth will not transgress." I was taught at a young age to think before I spoke, and for the most part, I have been able to do this, choosing my words and tone of voice to relay accurately my thoughts and feelings, being sensitive to the feelings of the person listening. Of course, I'm not always successful and have to apologize, but the Holy Spirit is quick (praise him!) to let me know when this is necessary, because in my purposing to not do something, I know right away when I've done it.

Words are one thing. I can usually check them before they exit my mouth. Sighs, on the other hand, escape quickly and without thought. Sometimes the air coming from my lungs through my mouth speaks loudly, and I would say, most of what it's saying is not happy. Try to hear the different sighs expressing these emotions: Frustration, exasperation, boredom, anger, deep sadness, hopelessness.

People pick up on sighing. Just this morning, I gave a sigh which told my daughter without words that I was not happy with a mistake she made. She picked up on it right away, felt bad and apologized. It was a mistake and not a big deal. I really didn't want her to feel bad, and my words (which I think about first) didn't cause her to feel that way, but the air that came forcefully from my mouth did. Ugh. My words may have been gracious, but my air was not and was more accurate about what I was thinking and feeling. Rats!

Oh Lord, may the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart, be pleasing in your sight. May all the air that escapes my mouth, with sound attached or not, be breathed with grace and truth and on purpose. I, like David, purpose that my mouth, in whatever form it takes, will not trangress. Oh Lord, grant me success in this. I can only do it with your help.

Now... to go apologize to my daughter.

I have to be in a bathing suit around a whole bunch of people. I have been so stressed about finding the right shaver that would not leave me with any bikini rashes so I would feel more comfortable walking around in front of others. I have invested in several different shavers to try different techniques over the last couple weeks to prepare for this day. The other day I tried one that left my inner thighs absolutely raw and so sore that I could barely walk. Any clothing that touched my skin was excrutiating. It was awful!

I was lying in bed thinking about how this search for the "perfect" shaver has consumed me. I was praying and asking God to take the pain on my legs away so I could walk comfortably in my own home. I have been so consumed by this desire to not have a rash and wanted the "perfect" look in a bathing suit. I was quite convicted in my pursuit of Jesus. Just a couple weeks ago I talked about how we can take so much time as women preparing ourselves for the day and how much time do we take for Jesus in the morning? Now, here I am allowing myself to be consumed once again by my appearance in the quest for the perfect shaver.

Do I pursue Jesus and allow myself to be consumed by Him and how he walked? What is my life's testimony saying to others? How much time am I putting into my heart and making it as in tune with Jesus? This shaver situation has so distracted me.... all over the fact that I need to be seen in a bathing suit around other people.

Isn't it easy as a woman to do this? We do this so often, changing our clothing, asking our spouse or friends for an opinion. We want to know if it might make us look slightly bigger than we want to be perceived. We choose a favourite shirt that makes us feel better about ourselves and save it for when we need to go out so we look put together. There are so many quirky things us women do all in the name of appearance and perception.

Unfortunately we do live in a superficial world where people do judge on appearance. We would all love to say that we are not in the majority, and that we all look beyond what's on the outside, but virtually all of us are influenced by appearances.

It's important to keep our appearance in perspective. God tells us in the Bible that it is important to present ourselves as nicely as possible, but not to go to extremes. It is important that we remain aware of why we do the things we do to look good.

Colossians 3:17 - "And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."

Proverbs 31:30 - "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting: but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."

I asked myself and will ask you.... do I focus on my appearance, weight, clothing and makeup more than I do on God? Does my focus on my appearance take my eyes off of Jesus?

I've been convicted.... even though there's nothing wrong with wanting to find the "perfect" shaver, my priorities have been in the wrong order. I've allowed this to take my eyes off Jesus and consume me. As women (and men) we need to take a closer look at our heart and actions, rather than our appearance and presentation.

Choose Jesus - Choose Life

In the middle of the garden were the tree of life
and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.
Gen 2:9b

At the centre was a choice. Will choose to love Me, Your Creator, Your Lover?

They were deceived and chose otherwise.

We also have a choice before us. Will you choose LIFE? Will you love Me, Your Creator, Your Redeemer, Your Lover, Your Life?

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. All things were made through Him, and without Him was not any thing made that was made. In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. John 1:1-4

And this is the judgement: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light, because their works were evil. John 5:19

Do you choose Life and Light? I pray your heart would say "Yes!"

Jesus said to them, "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. Whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day. For my flesh is true food, and my blood is true drink. Whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood abides in me, and I in him. As the living Father sent me, and I live because of the Father, so whoever feeds on me, he also will live because of me. This is the bread that came down from heaven, not like the bread the fathers ate and died. Whoever feeds on this bread will live forever." John 6:53-58

"Hard teaching", they said. But, Jesus calls them on what really is in their hearts. They were taking offense - they did not believe.

Jesus offers the Twelve a choice.

Ater this many of his disciples turned back and no longer walked with him.
So Jesus said to the Twelve, "Do you want to go away as well?"
Simon Peter answered him, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life, and we have believed, and have come to know, that you are the Holy One of God."
Jesus answered them, "Did I not choose you, the Twelve? And yet one of you is a devil." John 6:66-70

Will you and I be like Peter? He had come to believe and know the One who gives life - eternal life.

Choose Jesus. He's chosen you.

Strong in Him

Over the past few days, I have been sorting through some old boxes of books and papers.  A lot of it is a lifetime of memories... books I've read and couldn't give up; old cards and letters. There are also the boxes that are filled with my husband's  college papers and his books for more than eight years of university studies.  I also found little notebooks and papers of when my kids were in school... all so sentimental and special, I could never throw them away.  So, it is now something that I need to work through...

What I love finding when I look through these things, are bits and pieces of paper that have a history of my life on them.  I keep thinking some day I will put it all together.  As I read my journals, and little notebooks of my handwritten walk through this world... I have noticed that I still struggle with  some of the same issues that I did thirty to forty years ago and even longer... The exciting thing about all of this to me is... God has been walking me through it all.  There are some things that I have prayed for that have been  gradual changes.  They didn't happen right away.  The greatest lesson that I have learned is, God is faithful!  Not only that, He is patient with me.  And He doesn't say to me, "How many times do I have to tell you?'  He also doesn't say to me, "When are you ever going to learn?"  He knows our weaknesses.  And even though it is hard for me at times, I am so thankful for my weakness.  Without it, I would not need Him.   God also uses our weaknesses to make us strong... strong in Him.

Paul in the book of  2 Corinthians explains his struggle and weakness in life.  Though God did not remove the "thorn" or weakness... He used it to glorify Himself through Paul's life.

"To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of  Satan, to torment me.  Three times I pleaded with  the Lord to take it away from me.  But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you,  for My power is made perfect in weakness."  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.  For when I am weak, then I am strong."  2 Corinthians 12:7-10

It's All About the Love

What is it about Jesus that draws me so?

It's not stained glass impressions of the Last Supper...or story book pictures even, of little children on his knees...

It's Him. He loves me. He loves you.

He is Love.

Everything we know about real, true, beautiful, untainted, unselfish, unconditional love...comes from Him. It's who He is...and what He does.

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful, it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1 Corinthians 13:4 -6

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loves us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loves us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us. By this we know that we abide in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Saviour of the world. Whoever confesses that Jesus is the son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. 1 John 4:7-16

With God in us....Let's do some Lovin.....

I just got back from four days of camping with my husband. No relatives, kids or dogs. It was wonderful! We did whatever we felt like doing. Ate when we wanted to eat. Ate what we wanted to eat. Had no showers, wore no makeup. Read books, took naps, stared at the fire, gazed at the stars. Went to bed early, slept til we were done, talked when we felt like it, didn't when we didn't. Went for walks, ate ice cream, sat in the sun, swam in the lake, prayed together, laughed at our own stupid jokes, peed in the woods. We loved every minute, enjoying God, creation and each other.

Then we got home. Back to work, big meals, and bras. Back to bills, dogs and dirt. (How is it that dirt is acceptable flooring in your kitchen only when you live in a tent?) I was looking forward to being home as we were enjoying the drive back, but by the time I went to bed, I was exhausted and ready for another break. I don't really have a point to all of this. I just want to go back to the woods.

(I got to this point in my writing last night, then went to bed.)

Hmm. Back to the woods. As I think about it, isn't that what Adam and Eve got to do in the garden - enjoy God, creation and each other? I think there is a place in the human heart that yearns for the way it was supposed to be, and all the holidays we take to attempt to get there don't work, because we always have to come back.

Yet Jesus makes it possible to "go back to the woods". Not only to have the glorious freedoms of heaven to look forward to, but he has given us a way to experience relationship with God and each other like it was in the beginning, as it was intended. It wasn't really the lack of kids, dogs and bras that made our camping trip great. (Although I have to say that I didn't miss the dogs or the bras.) It is the fact that Jesus has made it possible to enjoy God, his beautiful creation and each other now, which is what we did, and continue to do, even amidst the work and the meals and the bills.

Knowing Jesus gets us back to the woods, back to the garden, back to true life. Eternal life, life as it was meant to be, begins today.

Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent. - Jesus (John 17:3)

The thief comes only to steal, and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. - Jesus (John 10:10)

As I've mentioned in past posts, my family has moved and we're in the stages of getting out and meeting people. So far we don't know anyone in the town we've moved to and have been searching for a home church. I've struggled with many emotions from happiness and excitement to depression and homesickness as I'm away from all that is familiar to me.

We attended a church for the second time today and when I asked the children's pastor if she could plug me in with other families whose kids attend the same school my kids will be attending, she mentioned the other school in town that most of the other children go to and that there is only 1 family she can think of that would have any kids attending the school with my children. My insecurites right away kicked in asking "what is wrong with the school we chose for the children?.... are we in a bad area?...." Immediately I thought that I should check out this other school as so far we cannot meet anyone who will be with our kids in this school we have chosen.

I hate insecurities. I hate the feeling of insecurity.... yet Satan wants to snare us in that feeling so we feel trapped. My children have never attended a school where they have had the opportunity to go to church with the same children. That really was my prayer and it was a bit of a "let down" when I didn't get the answer today that I wanted. Satan had me right where he wanted me and I allowed it. Just because I didn't get that answer today, doesn't mean that there won't be other children that are Christians at that school or that this school is not part of God's plans. God brought us here for a reason and we have believed that from day one and I need to continue trusting that all things will work for good... maybe not in the way I had planned but to His will and plans. That is sometimes difficult for me.

What is God's truth when I am feeling insecure and feeling to need to comform to what others are doing? I know in my heart to look to His Word for direction. If I were to memorize scripture I would have them imbedded on my heart so that when I am faced with my insecurities, I would have God's truth to rebuke Satan's lies. I am not perfect and this is one area I am very weak in. When I was searching God's word daily it was easy for me to pull up scripture and quote it. I find it more difficult during this season of change for me to find that time to sit and soak in on God's truth and spend more time with Him.

Romans 12:2
"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."

What is this saying to me?.... renew my mind daily and don't worry about conforming to what others are doing. God's will is good, pleasing and perfect.

Ephesians 1:11-15
"In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory."

What is this saying to me?.... God chose me and works everything to conform with HIS WILL, not what others are doing.

Romans 8:28
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

What is this saying to me?.... God's works things for good.... they might not be the way I want them to be but God's plans are better than mine.

How can I put this together with my insecurities? God's plans are still perfect. Even though I felt that disappointment in not having the children together with kids they go to church with, God's plans are still perfect and working for good. School hasn't even started yet and I need to continue trusting that the right friends are there for them and the families that we will meet God has chosen for us, Christian or non-Christian. All that is part of His perfect plan for my family. God's truth is more powerful than Satan's snares.

Romans 15:4
"For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope."

I know I'm wonderful!

For you created my inmost being;
You knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

I'm meditating on Psalm 139:13-14 today. The truth of it is bringing me great joy... especially as a woman. I'd encourage you to read the whole Psalm to remember the great love that God, our creator and Father has for us.

You created my inmost being

God created my inmost being. My inner part. In the Hebrew the word means "kidneys". For us as English speakers, you may then wonder why I'm so excited about this verse. For Hebrew speakers at that time, however, "kidneys" referred to the "mind"; that inner part of a person that makes up who the person is.

You created my inmost being

You created my inmost being. You created me with my personality. You made me with the gifts and talents I have. You made me with the lack of interest and little comprehension for certain things as well. You made me female - with double X chromosomes and all the estrogen and hormones that go with them - on purpose. You fashioned me in absolute love and grace.

I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

This is where the rubber meets the road. If God made me, just the way I am, can I accept this and praise Him for making me so wonderfully? Maybe I need to have some adjustments made in how I view myself. Have I believed what others have said about me, rather than what God says about how He made me?

Your works are wonderful,
I know this full well.

Loving Father, work this truth in my mind and heart so I can know this full well - know this completely - that your work in creating me...is wonderful.
Then with receiving this as truth and knowing this, Lord, teach me to express this inner being - to live out how who You've made me to be - in a beautiful way... to bring praise and glory to Your Name.

Letting Go

Do you recognize spiritual warfare when you see it? When thoughts are rushing in your head and your heart won't settle...do you know who to call? When a battle rages within your mind, between truth and lies...how do you find the truth? When you can't rest and the burdens of your heart are too heavy to hold on to anymore...what do you do?

You can pray for my young daughter. For almost a week, we have been walking with her in what I believe is a spiritual battle. I didn't recognize it at first. She was tired. She told me that her bones were aching and I told her it was probably growing pains. When she woke up from a bad dream and told me that her arms felt too heavy to lift...I prayed for her like I always pray for my children when they wake up from bad dreams in the middle of the night. I sang to her and tried to comfort her. But her pain and feelings did not go away. As I asked her questions like mothers do, trying to solve the mystery of her ailments....I began to sense something deeper going on in the heart of my child that was manifesting itself out physically in her body.

For three nights she complained of the same feelings and pain, but during the day, she felt fine.

The next two nights...were fine...and then last night...she woke again, with the same symptoms as before.

I am sharing with you a simplified version of her story because God has shown me some beautiful things through her experience.

Each time my daughter was struggling...she explained her ailments in a similar fashion...she was filled with fear, and in each instance,when she was describing through her tears how she felt...she used these descriptions: her arms were heavy, they were full, she couldn't lift them, she felt like she was holding too many things in her arms and she couldn't carry them anymore, and finally...the words that came out of her mouth that awakened my spiritual sensitivity..."I have a burden and it's too heavy."

At that instance...I asked her to picture Jesus in front of her and to lift out her arms and give whatever she was holding in her arms to him and ask him to carry it for her. Through her exhaustion and tears...I saw her struggling to hold out her arms. I put my hands under hers and together we reached out her little arms into the air and I listened as she begged Jesus to take her burden.

I wept, as I realized that she had been carrying worries and fears, deep in her heart and they had become too much for her to bear.

So for three nights...when the feelings came often in the night, we would pray and she would hold out her hands and I would lead her as she gave her worries and fears to Jesus. I would sing and speak out every truth I could remember from the Bible in the still of the night as I lay beside her.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God, I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

Every verse the Lord brought to mind...I spoke aloud into the shadows, comforted by the sound of truth.

Last night....my daughters voice called me in the middle of the night. As I lay next to her...she told me that the feelings had come back...through tears she told me that her arms felt heavy. But before I could say or do anything...I heard her little voice calling out to Jesus...echoing this time on her own, the same prayer I had guided her in praying the nights before. Her arms held out...she called on Jesus to take the burden of her worries and carry them for her. As she fell back asleep...I thought of Jesus and how he said to the children..."Come unto me..."

Dear Sister....Give your burdens to the Lord. He wants to take them.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. Hebrews 12:1-3

Jesus knew what was coming, what he would have to endure to accomplish God's purpose for his life. I wonder how knowing that affected him daily. Was the anticipation of his impending crucifixion a heaviness that he had to fight? You know how it is when there is something burdensome always at the back of your mind, something heavy that never really goes away. It can really put a damper on things, cloud your outlook, drain your energy, cause you to be weary and fainthearted.

"who, for the joy set before him, endured the cross"

Joy was set before him. Was this a one time thing that happened only just before his crucifixion? Maybe that's one thing that the Father did for him every day as they met - put before him joy. Did the Father remind Jesus of the good results that would come through his suffering, remind him that he was at work, remind him that he had found favor with him, "This is my son, with whom I am well pleased?" Could it be that Jesus needed to have these reminders of joy set before him daily in order to enter into life and do his work with joy, gladness of heart, and wholeheartedly?

It would seem to me that Jesus "endured the cross" throughout his ministry, meaning that he endured the anticipation of humiliation, betrayal, shame, physical pain, separation from his Father, punishment, and death. The only way he could endure it was because the Father set joy before him, reminding him over and over and over again of his love and his sovereign control and that it would be worth it. He needed to see it, hear it, know it in order to get through each day and to do the hard work that he had been called to - showing people who God is, the gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love. In all of it, there was joy, because, I believe, the Father continually set it before him.

How much more do we need that!? I know I do. I need to meet with my Father daily in order that he can set joy before me, reminding me of his love, favor and sovereign control. May you know the joy set before you, as you daily look to Jesus and consider him so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted.

Let your light shine

"You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. ' ~ Matthew 5:14-15

As Christians, God wants us to step out of our comfort zone and tell others about our faith in God. It's not something that comes easy even for me. I find it safe to journal and even stay an anonymous writer here in Soul Kitchen and use the words I write to bless others. I don't like stepping out of my comfort zone and sharing what I believe because I'm scared of being laughed at or turned away or have a rude comment said to me.

What's important is that I need to step out in obedience and trust God to do the rest. This verse above talks about the light and how we don't put the light under a bowl but instead they put it on a stand for all to receive light. That's how we need to be in our walk with God and let others see the life we live and allow our testimony to be the light for everyone to see. God doesn't want us to keep our stories of blessings and trials to ourselves for only us to know. He wants us to be a living testimony that through Christ we can overcome.

In my early years I never shared anything about my life with others. Then, I went to the extreme and thought that with everyone I met that for them to see whether we would be compatible or not that I would share my testimony of struggles and where I was at and use that as a gauge for friendships. That got me hurt over and over again and God had some tough lessons for me. I have now learned through the years that it's my daily life that people see who I really am... how I treat my children.... how I talk to my husband.... how I conduct myself in a store... how I show that I am thankful for all my blessings... am I proud?.... do I brag? what do I say about others?.... can people see Christ's reflection in me? What do people see when they look at me or meet me?

This may seem morbid but I read the obituaries because I love reading what impact someone has had in his or her life. It gets me so excited when the obituary starts off saying something like "Sue fell asleep in the arms of her Saviour...." I love reading what they did with their life and how they used their faith as a light for others. Every single time I close the newspaper I think about what God would say to me when I stand before him.... how did I serve him? will he be pleased with the way I lived my life? Did I take credit for accomplishments and blessings or have I given him praise daily for everything? Was my life a testimony to others?

I saw this quote the other day: "We're supposed to hide God's Word - not our testimony - on our hearts." (not sure who wrote it)

Isn't that powerful? God wants you to step out and trust him in obedience and share what He is doing and has done in your life. Each of us has a testimony that we can share with someone or encourage someone with. Do others see you living what you believe? Let your daily walk and how you live your life be an example to others.

Blessings to you.

The greatest of these is love

Values. We have them as cultures, and we have them as families and individuals. Although values can be good, we have a tendency to make our values our goals. I have started to call these "pet values" or "pet principles." Pet values become priorities and are elevated higher than other important values, and we lose sight of the bigger picture.

Let me give you an example from my life. One of my values earlier in life was being punctual. Being punctual is good, but being on time for things became my goal. I remember finally being ready to leave the house for some kind of appointment and then my baby threw up all over herself and me when we were just ready to leave. This infuriated me! I had to start all over with finding something to wear and getting us both dressed again. No time to be gentle and patient with my child... "How could she do this to me!" Then when we were finally on our way, the speed-limits on the road didn't really matter because "I have to get there on time!" This simple example shows how values of even greater importance are disregarded when we have pet values.

We are prone to do this with scripture too. We have our pet verses that we adhere to, sometimes to the exclusion of the other principles that Jesus has called us to live by. When asked which of the commandments was the greatest, Jesus replied,

"You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and all your soul and all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbour as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets."

Love God, love each other. All the commandments need to follow behind these two commandments. We can't try to live out a particular value without doing it in the context of loving God with everything within us, and loving our neighbour as our self.

We also pick certain attributes of God and highlight them to justify our point of view or beliefs.
People actually do this all the time. They say God is an angry God (period). God is a God of justice (period). That's not an accurate picture. God is LOVE. Every characteristic of God is in the context of God being a good, and loving God. He is PERFECT. We cannot "dissect" or "extract" characteristics of Him to fit our personal agenda.

I was reading 1 John 4 today.

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. Now one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.
God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

We love because he first loved us. (vs 7-19; italics mine)

Let's ask God to show us the "pets" we have. What are our pet values or principles that we've put above the greatest commandments of loving God and loving others? What distortions do we have of God that are influencing us to live in fear and a sense that we can't trust God?
Write them down. Ask God to give you a healthy perspective that lines up with who God truly is and who He has made us to be.

Being on time. Even today when I was posting, my daughter (the same one from my example but grown up now) phoned to have me meet her and the kids next door for lunch at my mom's. Although, I do have an ideal time by when I like to post on our blog, I was free to listen to what God had for me today rather than automatically saying I was busy. I chose to join them all. Yes... it was a good time. :)

A Kind Heart

I love it when I see an act of kindness expressed through someones life that I don't even know... we have all been there at times.  Sometimes it is just a small gesture but it makes a great impression on our lives.  I can think of countless times that a form of kindness has been shown to me. One of those times was a day that I was very emotional and completely exhausted.  I had stayed awake with my mother all night holding her hand.... Somehow, I knew this would be our last night together.  I could not let go... I wanted to hold her hand until Jesus took it.  I did not want her to die alone.  As the early morning light began to filter into her room, I watched in awe as her facial expressions changed and she saw something I had never seen before.  I believe it was Jesus reaching for her hand.  As He took it,  I let go.  I believe she could also see heaven in the background.  It was fascinating to watch her looking back and forth with eyes that were crystal clear and not the cloudiness of death.  

Later, after my brothers and sisters gathered together and we  said our good byes to our Mother, we left to go to a restaurant to eat.  I was still very emotional, yet quiet in my thoughts.  This may sound very simple... but a stranger opened the restaurant door for me.  Maybe it was just knowing that I had released my Mother to walk through the gates of heaven and seeing the door open that brought on a flood of emotion.  But, his act of kindness blessed me.  

Another time, was when  we had moved to another state.  I did not know anyone except the realtor.  He came highly recommended  through the Bible College that we were to attend. He had been very kind to us and throughout the whole transition, continually went beyond what I had seen in other Realtors.  He had taken care of every request that we had asked of him and had the house professionally cleaned and fumigated by the time we moved in.  There was a lingering smell in the house the day we moved in and he stopped by to see how everything was coming along.  He noticed the fumigation smell and said he thought we would be alright to sleep there that night.  My husband had left us and drove back to our previous home to get more of our things.  So, it was just  my six year old daughter, a friend and myself that was at the new house.  Around midnight, there was a knock on the door.  Standing there was, our realtor and his wife.  He said he had gotten into bed but could not sleep for thinking of us.  He  and his wife insisted we come to their  house for the night.  We slept well that night and had a delicious breakfast the next morning.  I will long remember his kindness... we were strangers, yet he took us in and cared for us.

Jesus talks about that kind of love... He demonstrated kindness over and over again in the Bible.  Who knows, maybe some kindness you have shown to someone will be remembered for years to come and make an impact on their life.  I believe kindness, is often, sometimes a step towards leading a person to Jesus.  Most people read what we do... more than what we say.

"The Lord is full of loving-favor and pity, slow to anger and great in loving-kindness." Psalm 145:8

Grace, Peace and Fellowship

Confessions: I am not a bible teacher, scholar or theologian...however, I will give you a peak into where my heart is at as I have been studying God's word...I invite you to respond or dialogue with me from this passage.

I have been camping out the last few days in Galatians....looking at different verses, pondering them, asking God to teach me and speak to me.

Fourteen years after Paul had met with the disciples the first time, he met with them again and shared with them what God had been teaching him and laying on his heart...and although his ministry was different from theirs...they extended to him the right hand of fellowship...or their blessing as we would probably say today. (Chapter 2:1-10)

I have been thinking about grace and peace and fellowship. Sometimes it is hard for us to accept things that look different to us. Paul says in verse 9 that when Peter, James and John acknowledged the grace that had been given to him through the Lord working in his life that they gave the right hand of fellowship to him and Barnabas to continue in the ministry that God had given them.

I can only imagine how protective of the gospel the original disciples were...Paul's background was sketchy enough. He and Barnabas were going against everything that was culturally accepted in that day...but they perceived by the Holy Spirit the same grace that had been given them and they blessed them.....even though, they did not agree on everything.

Grace and Peace and Fellowship.....

Oh, I think our view of the Lord can be so small. He loves to surprise us with the unexpected.

The people of Israel were expecting their King to arrive in royal majesty and power to save them from their enemies....Jesus showed up as a helpless baby, poor and common, and taught that they should love their enemies. The disciples were a ragamuffin band of fishermen and social misfits....God used them to change the world. Paul...the most unlikely person to follow Jesus...a religious fanatic, persecutor and hater of christians was transformed by the grace of Christ and became one of the greatest teachers of all time.

Just thinking about that, gives me hope and confidence when I look at my own life and the grace God has given through all of my mistakes and short comings.

May the Lord open my eyes and heart with more grace to see the unexpected and see Him at work among us....even when things look different from what I'm used to.

This is a crazy time in my life right now. Nothing is familiar to me. My family has moved and we are in an area where we don't know anyone or even the area. The only time anything feels safe and secure is when my husband is around. I tried a new church on Sunday and that was very strange to me not seeing the familiar faces or my "spot" where I sat each Sunday. I am starting to feel like my house is now my home but I step outside and I am reminded that I am in unfamiliar territory. I don't have any friends in town that I can phone up and get together with. I don't have any family around that I can just drop in to at the drop of a pin. Everything and everyone are miles away from me. With all this "chaos" around me, I am forgetting things as my life is not in routine. My planner doesn't sit in the familiar spot. I can't seem to keep any days straight as to which day of the week is which. I feel in some ways that I am falling apart but I know it's just the changes around me that are making me out of sorts.

Even though everything around me changes, I am thankful that Jesus never does. His love for me never changes. He is as constant as the sun. I am comforted that Jesus knows me and loves me for who I am. I might be scared to meet new people and step out of my comfort zone but Jesus knows everything about me, even the number of hairs on my head.

A couple years ago in church this amazing video called "The Father's Love Letter" was shown to us and today as I drove through the majestic mountains and everything felt strange and unfamiliar, I thought of this letter.... God's love letter to me...

You can watch it on the video or read it below: http://www.fathersloveletter.com/video.html

My Child,

You may not know me, but I know everything about you. Psalm 139:1

I know when you sit down and when you rise up. Psalm 139:2

I am familiar with all your ways. Psalm 139:3

Even the very hairs on your head are numbered. Matthew 10:29-31

For you were made in my image. Genesis 1:27

In me you live and move and have your being.Acts 17:28

For you are my offspring. Acts 17:28

I knew you even before you were conceived. Jeremiah 1:4-5

I chose you when I planned creation. Ephesians 1:11-12

You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book. Psalm 139:15-16

I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live. Acts 17:26

You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14

I knit you together in your mother's womb. Psalm 139:13

And brought you forth on the day you were born. Psalm 71:6

I have been misrepresented by those who don't know me.John 8:41-44

I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love. 1 John 4:16

And it is my desire to lavish my love on you. 1 John 3:1

Simply because you are my child and I am your Father. 1 John 3:1

I offer you more than your earthly father ever could. Matthew 7:11

For I am the perfect father. Matthew 5:48

Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand. James 1:17

For I am your provider and I meet all your needs. Matthew 6:31-33

My plan for your future has always been filled with hope. Jeremiah 29:11

Because I love you with an everlasting love. Jeremiah 31:3

My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore.Psalms 139:17-18

And I rejoice over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:17

I will never stop doing good to you. Jeremiah 32:40

For you are my treasured possession. Exodus 19:5

I desire to establish youwith all my heart and all my soul. Jeremiah 32:41

And I want to show you great and marvelous things. Jeremiah 33:3

If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me. Deuteronomy 4:29

Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

For it is I who gave you those desires. Philippians 2:13

I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine. Ephesians 3:20

For I am your greatest encourager. 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17

I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you. Psalm 34:18

As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart. Isaiah 40:11

One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes. Revelation 21:3-4

And I'll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth.Revelation 21:3-4

I am your Father, and I love you even as I love my son, Jesus.John 17:23

For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed. John 17:26

He is the exact representation of my being. Hebrews 1:3

He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you. Romans 8:31

And to tell you that I am not counting your sins.2 Corinthians 5:18-19

Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19

His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you. 1 John 4:10

I gave up everything I lovedthat I might gain your love. Romans 8:31-32

If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me. 1 John 2:23

And nothing will ever separate you from my love again.Romans 8:38-39

Come home and I'll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen.Luke 15:7

I have always been Father, and will always be Father.Ephesians 3:14-15

My question is…Will you be my child? John 1:12-13

I am waiting for you. Luke 15:11-32

Love your Dad, Almighty God

May you be comforted as I am that no matter what happens around you, God will always be there... waiting to embrace you.

Thank you Jesus that you love me for who I am and that you are the only thing in my life that I know is familiar. I feel lost at times without the earthly possessions and surroundings being in the places I need them to be to feel safe and secure. Thank you that you are my safety and my refuge. Thank you that you have always been and will always be my Father. Amen

Turning Reality into Experience

(Sorry everyone, I forgot what I was doing and published this today (Sunday) instead of on Tuesday. I apologize to my other blogging sisters for messing up the schedule! - Satisfied)

Just wanted to say a little more about the reality/experience thing I talked about last week. Hopefully, this will be a practical thing that is just one more way of bringing the truth from our heads into our hearts, as they say.

I'll start with an example of a song we often sing at church: Be the Centre. The words go something like this:

Jesus be the centre
Be my source, be my light
Jesus

Be the fire in my heart
Be the wind in these sails
Be the reason that I live
Jesus, Jesus

Jesus, be the centre
Be my hope, be my song
Jesus

Jesus be my vision
Be my path, be my guide
Jesus

As we sing this song the way it is written, we are praying for these things to be our experience, which is what we want. What I want us to recognize is that the things that we are asking for in this song are already reality. When I sing this song, (and many songs like it) I change the words to reflect the reality of what is already true. For example again:

Jesus you're the centre
You're my source, You're my light
Jesus

You're the fire in my heart
You're the wind in these sails
You're the reason that I live
Jesus, Jesus

Jesus, You're the centre
You're my hope, You're my song
Jesus

Jesus You're my vision
You're my path, You're my guide
Jesus

In this way, by acknowledging what is already true, my thinking is changed to believe it and my experience will begin to reflect it. If all we do is pray for experience without recognizing reality as it already exists, we may never acknowledge that what we've been praying for IS our experience.

David did this in his praying. Psalm 31:2-3

Be a rock of refuge for me,
a strong fortress to save me! (experience)
For you are my rock and my fortress;
and for your name’s sake you lead me and guide me. (Reality)

Try praying in both these ways and see what happens in you. I think you'll find it makes a difference. It has, and still does, for me.

Armed with Attitude

As I write today, I'm kind of piggy-backing on what was written by the other writers of Soul Kitchen this week.

I was reading 1 Chronicles 12 about the men listed "armed for battle who came to David at Hebron." vs 23

I was intrigued by how these warriors were described. The list included these descriptions:
carrying shield and spear
armed for battle
ready for battle
brave warriors
switched allegiance to David
called by name to come
understood the times and knew what Israel should do
experienced soldiers prepared for battle
undivided loyalty
armed with every type of weapon

What about us today, as those called by God for the praise of His glory? What is our battle? How are we to prepare for battle? We are well aware of the spiritual armor described in Ephesians 6. When I read 1 Chronicles 12, however, it made me think of Peter encouraging to "arm yourself also with the same attitude" as Christ.

1 Peter 4:1-2 Therefore, since Christ suffered in his body, arm yourselves also with the same attitude, because he who has suffered in his body is done with sin. As a result, he does not live the rest of his earthly life for evil human desires, but rather for the will of God.

We are to arm ourselves with the attitude Christ had. Christ embraced suffering, entrusting Himself to God. Peter talks a lot about the suffering of believers in the chapters preceding these verses. We need to be aware of an important point here - especially considering our culture advocating entitlement and personal rights - suffering will come and we should not be surprised when we suffer and experience trials. We shouldn't be surprised in the least, actually.

Yet we are. So, when we are wronged, when we are hurt, when bad things happen, we're not prepared. And we react...in all kinds of ways.

That's where being armed with attitude comes in. Not attitude as the world promotes, because we know where that leads us... and it's not victory. It's not glory, and it certainly doesn't result in peace.

But being prepared -being armed - with the attitude that Christ suffered in His body and we will too, along with a deep knowing that we belong to a loving and merciful God... well, that will lead in a totally different direction. We will not live the rest of our earthly lives for evil human desires, but rather for the will of God. (vs 2)

It may look like what happened when Pilgrim's Heart was armed with this attitude. As she wrote in yesterday's blog, "I'm not saying I did not feel pain at times because this was a lifetime pattern for her, but, when I placed her in His hands and gave up the control I wanted, God gave me peace.

I continued to love my Mama through times of feeling unloved, unwanted, and uncared for. Had I taken to heart all of the cruel things she said to me and walked out of her life, she would not be in the kingdom today. God gave me the power and love to keep going back."

Thank you Pilgrim's Heart for that beautiful example of entrusting yourself to God in the midst of continual suffering. How thrilling that through your love and sharing your heart with her, your mom was eventually able to receive God's love too.

Sisters,
In the battle... prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled, set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. 1 Peter 1:13

"The Green-eyed Monster"

There are few people that I have ever felt jealous of that lead to  a lasting jealousy.  I have on occasion felt a slight, jealousy of my children's attentions towards someone else, but it never lasted very long.  I had always told them that jealousy is a "green-eyed monster."  I have seen it destroy people's lives and take away their joy for years.

David was a good example of how to deal with jealousy.  Saul was deeply jealous of him but he continued to honor and love Saul even though Saul continually sought to take his life.

I remember a time when I was jealous for my mother's love.  I saw her doting on my sister and my brother.  The "green-eyed monster" would show it's ugly face... reminding me of how unimportant I was.   My Mom did not hide her favoritism.  With seven brothers and sisters, we all knew who were the special ones.  Here is where I get excited!  It caused me to seek the Lord, eventually releasing her to Him , as He enabled me to keep loving her in spite of her cruel treatment at times.  In the end, God rewarded my letting go. I'm not saying I did not feel pain at times because this was a lifetime pattern for her, but, when I placed her in His hands and gave up the control I wanted, God gave me peace.  

I continued to love my Mama through times of feeling unloved, unwanted and uncared for.  Had I taken to heart all of the cruel things she said to me and walked out of her life, she would not be in the kingdom today.  God gave me the power and love to keep going back.  

I cannot emphasize enough the power of God in our lives when we allow Him to take control.  That is why it is so important to remain close to Him in our daily walk.  It is not just the "green-eyed monster" that sneaks up on us... discontentment comes in many forms.  

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time.  Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you."

"Be self-controlled and alert.  Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.  Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings."  

1 Peter 5:6-9

We are so reminded of what jealousy can do in our lives if we allow it to gain control of our thoughts.  Most of us have lived with it at some time or another.  Basically it is "rotting to our bones."  Proverbs 14:30 tells us,  "A heart that has peace is life to the body, but wrong desires are like the wasting away of the bones."

The Bible tells us to rest in the Lord... to wait for Him... May we seek to do that as we  fight against the fiery darts of the enemy, standing firm in our relationship with Jesus.  

To Forgive Again

If there is one common issue that I seem to work through in my life over and over it is forgiveness. I don't have millions of grievances. It just seems that sometimes my hurts or offense runs deeper in my life than I thought it did...and Jesus, in his great love for me brings it up to the surface so that He can heal me and cut the chain that unforgiveness holds on me so that I can be free.

I have been reminded lately of some old wounds from my past. I have felt like I shouldn't go back there in my mind, because I didn't want to dig up anything long since buried. However, I have asked Jesus to walk with me back there to some of those memories and speak into my heart and mind his truth and healing and forgiveness.

You see...I believe Jesus was with me when I experienced those hurts...and He helped me at the time to forgive to the best of my ability...but because there are some things in my life that He has revealed to me concerning those hurts that are still affecting my life today, I believe He wants to take me there again to heal my heart on a deeper level.

I love Jesus for that. He cares for our hearts on every level. He brings us back to things when we are ready. Jesus knows how to love your heart like no other. He Knows Forgiveness.

1 John 1:9

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

PS: Happy Canada Day! Thank you Jesus that we live in a free country.